Interesting Psychology Team
Shame and guilt can be powerful motivators to do the right thing, but these negative emotions can detract from our well-being when we feel ashamed for the wrong reasons.
If you often feel ashamed of your thoughts, personality, or behaviors, you might end up being inauthentic to your true self.
You may also avoid acting on your desires out of fear that you will face ridicule or rejection. In this post, we’ll explore nine common causes of shame that you really don’t need to feel ashamed about!
1 – Your Dreams
It’s tough to achieve your dreams when you feel ashamed of them, but they become more realistic when you feel proud and capable. These positive emotions can push you to work hard toward your goals. What you want in life is up to you and the truth is that the people who matter will support and encourage you.
If someone doesn’t believe in you, it’s not because your dreams are silly. It’s because that person is not great at giving support. And if anyone belittles your dreams, know that this behavior reveals that they’re the ones who should feel bad.
It means they don’t have dreams themselves, let alone the courage or determination to follow them. By making fun of your dreams, these people hope to distract themselves from their insecurities, including their jealousy of you.
2 – Your Friends
Some people feel ashamed to share their friendships publicly, especially if those friends face ridicule from society already.
Tons of people still judge others based on appearance, ability, gender, sexual orientation, religion, race, or beliefs. But you should never feel ashamed of your friends, regardless of the world’s prejudices.
Instead, celebrate your differences and revel in the connection you share. It’s okay to be proud, even when other people don’t understand your friendship. Your relationships with your friends are beautiful, so don’t hide them.
3 – Your Job Or Financial Position
While there can be many possible reasons why someone may be ashamed of their job or financial situation, generally, there are two main reasons for this. Either you are judging yourself, or you worry about someone else judging you.
Now, if you’re certain that the embarrassment is a clear sign that you should move on from your job, by all means, listen to your gut. Explore your options. Attend some classes or find a support network and don’t stop until you find work that is more fulfilling.
But, if you’re ashamed of your work and yet secretly like it (or at least some aspects of it), don’t throw that away to please others and their assumptions of what you need to be happy.
4 – Failure
Most of us see failure as an obstacle in and of itself, but it’s inevitable. It’s a necessary stepping stone on the way to success, and one that you’re going to come across more than once.
If you’re one of those people who sees failure as bad or negative, shift your mindset toward seeing it as an important and valuable learning experience. When you fail, it means you tried. When you fail at the same thing again, it means you tried again, and that is resilience.
The more you try and fail, the more you build yourself up and become stronger. You see, messing up and missing the mark are essential building blocks of success. And if anyone ever judges you for failing, well, they don’t understand true success.
If they’re disappointed you don’t get it right on the first try, their expectations are unrealistic. Don’t be ashamed of failure. Be proud of your courage, resilience, and motivation.
5 – Your Need For “Me Time”
Taking time for self-care is nothing to feel guilty or ashamed of. Resting and recharging is critical to our overall well-being, and it involves taking time away from the constant noise and chaos of the world.
You’re not lazy if you want to curl up with a book, take a bath, watch TV, or do anything else that helps you relax. If anyone ever questions or judges you for taking breaks, be sure to assert the value of your peace and quiet. You might even be able to convince them to try a little self-care, too!
