Interesting Psychology Team
Manipulation In Psychology Explained:
When it comes to manipulation, it seems that a lot of people underestimate how powerful it can beβand oftentimes, they will misunderstand what is going on with this art form. It is common to see the word manipulation and believe automatically that the other person is trying to be emotionally abusive, mean, and cruel. We automatically associate a lot of negative traits back to the words.
While it is possible for people to use manipulation in a negative way, it is important to remember that there are some positive parts of manipulation as well. Because so many people see manipulation as a negative thing, it can prevent them from realizing just how powerful of a psychological art form manipulation can be.
Furthermore, many people fail to understand that pretty much each of us already uses manipulation in one manner or anotherβjust by living our day-to-day lives. While we may not automatically see this kind of behavior as manipulation, we all will have some degree of practice with using it.
Learning how to manipulate effectively doesnβt mean that you are heading out into the world and trying to create some abusive patterns between yourself and those around you. Instead, it just means that you know what you want, and you have refined the method that you want to use to get it. When it is all said and done, if someone doesnβt really want to give in to what you want, they wonβt.
Manipulation isnβt all about the pressure put on the other person. The best manipulators donβt force someone into doing something that they donβt want to do. Instead, it is more about helping someone see the value in helping you and doing what you would like and then building up from there.
Before we start to look at some of the techniques that you can use with manipulation, we first need to dig deeper into what manipulation is all about, how and why manipulation tends to work, and when you would decide to work with manipulation in your own life.
What Is Manipulation?
To those who arenβt fully aware of manipulation and what it is all about, it is hard to see that this process actually takes up three steps. Most of us will just think of manipulation as one thingβthere actually need to be two things in addition to the act of manipulation, which will make sure that the manipulation is successful. These include the analysis, which happens first; and the persuasion, which is going to take place for most of the conversation with the victim but is especially going to show up after the manipulation.
Understanding that there is more to the art of manipulation than just the act of manipulation itself is going to help you understand more about what can make the process more successful. While beginners may think that they are able to do it without the persuasion and the analysis aspects, you will quickly find that the results arenβt as good if you miss these two parts and that you are less likely to get the things that you want.
How and Why Does Manipulation Work?
Despite what it may seem, manipulation is actually going to work in a simple manner. For the most part, people are going to be automatically wired to say no to something the first time that they hear about it, especially if whoever is asking the question is someone the victim doesnβt know or trust alreadyβwhen it is someone that the victim trusts, they are more likely to really think about the question and there is a higher odd of them saying yes.
Letβs assume for a moment that you donβt already know the other person and that you havenβt been able to build up their trust before you work to manipulate them. As a result, any time that you ask the other person for something, they are just going to tell you no.
The idea that comes with this one is pretty simple. We do not typically like to take things from people who we do not have trust in. It is sort of like taking candy from a stranger or letting a stranger do something for you that could potentially leave you vulnerable and exposed to some sort of threat. These are things that we just wouldnβt do. When someone we donβt really know or trust asks you for something, there is always going to be that natural inclination to say no to them because we donβt have enough trust and history with this person to know what the result isnβt going to be devastating in one way or another for us in the end.
The same is going to be true of others when you try to manipulate them. If you ask someone for a favor, there is a high chance that they will also say no to you, unless you already know them and have built up trust with them. Of course, there are steps that you can take that can help you build up those feelings a bit quicker so that you can get that yes much faster. With some practice and a bit more knowledge about the different manipulation techniques, you will be able to manipulate others and get a yes from them in no time.
Bad Manipulation
There are a lot of different types of manipulation that are available throughout the worldβand often, we are going to think about the bad form of manipulation. This is due to the fact that most of us have heard about manipulation from books, movies, and the news. These sources are just going to spend time talking about manipulation and all of the bad things that had happened when someone used manipulation.
How many times, for example, have you turned on the television and heard about some group or cult who took advantage of someone, or maybe a smaller group of people, and gotten them to change their whole personalities and more? You may have heard about some people being willing to kill, attack, and do more, even though they were the calmest and most controlled person in the world before this all happens.
Now, this is a little extreme, but there are many times when the manipulation is going to be seen as a negative thing. When this happens, it usually is because the manipulator is looking to get what they want, to gain something, without caring what happens to the other person. They may even want the target to become dependent on them to ensure that they can come back and use that person as often as they would like.
The target in this situation is often going to be the one who is harmed or hurt in some manner. Whether they are physically harmed in the process, or they are just led to believe that they arenβt worth anything at all, you will find that it can be really damaging to the target. The one person who is going to be able to benefit with this kind of manipulation is the manipulator.
When Would I Need to Manipulate Someone?
There are actually quite a few times when you would have the desire to manipulate someone else. One example of this is a salesperson who wants to make a sale. Through the use of some of the strategies we will talk about for manipulation, the salesperson would be able to develop any opportunities that are needed to easily and quickly established a rapport. Once that rapport is set up, they will find that the sale with the victim, or the customer, in this case, is going to lose quickly.
People are much less likely to give you the answer of no when they trust you, and you can get them to take the time to listen to your offer. This can also be true when it comes to making any recommendations as needed, requesting someone to come help you, and pretty much any other time that you are trying to get your way. The idea is that if you would like to convince someone else to get what you want, you will make sure that you are never harmful to someone else in the process, you could use manipulation to help you get the thing that you want.
When Should I Avoid Manipulating Someone?
Despite all the power that can come with manipulation, there are going to be some times when you shouldnβt use it at all. You will find that people, canβt be manipulated unless there is some willingness for this to happen. If you come across someone who is completely against agreeing with you and doing what you are asking them to do, there is no way that you can come in and change their mind without calling on manipulation tactics that are often seen as abusive, cruel, and harsh.
If you really want to master the art of manipulation, you must make sure that the delicate boundaries are kept, and that you work on the right strategies, without being harmful to the other person in the process. There are going to be times when the victim says no to you, and as the manipulator, you need to respect the no that they give.
Of course, this doesnβt mean that you have to give up completely, you could still call on some of the tactics of persuasion to see if you can organically get the other person to change their mind. However, you should not try to force the other person to change their mind or opinion. When you try to force your ideas on the other person, this is where the idea of manipulation starts to turn into a bad thing that needs to be avoided.
How to Spot Manipulation?
All of us want to make sure that our needs are getting metβbut most of us are not going to rely on underhand methods to make this happen. A manipulator on the other side of things is more than happy to covertly influence someone with abusive tactics or indirect and deceptive tactics. There are many times that these manipulators may seem like they are nice and friendly, and they can be good at flattery. They know how to make the other person feel important, but in reality, the manipulator only does this as a way to achieve their own ulterior motives.
Manipulation can go the other way as well. Sometimes, they will lean more to using hostility and abuse in order to gain what they want. When this happens, the objective with that person is just to gain power, more than trying to gain anything else. In some cases, the victim wonβt even realize that they are being intimidated in a conscious manner.
There are a lot of weapons that a manipulator likes to use, and they are not afraid to bring as many of these out to help them as physically possible. They could use foot-in-the-door, reversals, evasiveness, sympathy, apologies, fake concern, comparing, denying, complaining, feigning that they are ignorant or innocent, and so much more. If they can use a method to get what they want, no matter how underhand it may be, the manipulator isnβt going to feel bad for using that to their advantage.
There are some manipulators who are going to deny that they made certain promises, that certain agreements had been reached, or even that a conversation had ever occurred. They can even blame their victim for something that the victim didnβt do, just so they can gain power or sympathy. This is an approach that is used to break out of an agreement, promise, and date. You may even see a form of manipulation with parents who like to use bribery, such as βfinish your dinner to get dessert.β
Another thing that you can watch out for with manipulation is that the manipulator is often going to voice assumptions about your beliefs and intentions, and then they will react to these as if they were true. This is one of the ways that they can justify their own actions or feelings. At the same time, they will continue to deny what the victim has said in the conversation. The manipulator may act as if something has been decided on or agreed upon when it hasnβt, because this can help to put down any of the objections that you could have about that situation.
Manipulation Techniques in Psychology
The foot in the door technique, is a technique that can be favored by many manipulators. With this one, the manipulator is going to make a small request, one that you are likely to agree to help them out with. This small request is followed by the real request, and this one is usually a lot larger. The victim may find that it is harder to say no to this second request because they have already said yes to the other one.
If the victim does try to say no to the second request, the manipulator is ready to jump in and act like the offended party. They will turn around the words of the victim quite a bit, and they will make sure that they are the one is hurt in this scenario, in the hopes of getting the victim to do what they want. They are very skilled at making sure that the situation is about them and their complaints, and that puts the victim on the defensive, even though they had been willing to help out with the original request.
Faking concern is another technique that a lot of manipulators are going to use to get what they want. This method is a good one because it can undermine the confidence and the decisions that come with the victim because the manipulator is willing to use warnings and worry about the victim.
Another thing that you can look for when it comes to manipulators is the idea of emotional blackmail. The manipulator could use guilt, shame, threats, intimidation, and rage to get the victim to do what they would like. Shaming can be used because it will create some self-doubt in the victim and could make them very insecure about what they have said or done. Often the shame is going to be hidden in a type of compliment, such as saying βIβm surprised that you of all people would stoop to that!β
In some cases, the blackmailer is going to try and frighten their victim with anger, in order to force that victim to sacrifice their own needs and wants. If this doesnβt end up working for them, the manipulator could switch from being frightening to being angry. The victim will notice the change and will feel so relieved at the change that they will agree to do whatever the manipulator wants.
You can also watch out for what is known as passive-aggressive behavior. When you have trouble saying no to the other person, you may agree to things that you donβt really want to doβand then you can still get your way by forgetting, being late, or doing it halfheartedly. In most cases, passive aggression is going to be a way for you or the manipulator to express hostility. Forgetting on purpose can help you to conveniently avoid the thing that you didnβt want to do in the first place, and helps you get back at your partner.
Of course, sometimes, we do this without realizing it. Maybe we actually do forget to do something because we donβt hold it as important enough to remember. Sometimes, it happens without meaning to hurt the other personβwe just donβt want to do it. However, the manipulator is going to take it a bit further and will try to get the other person to do what they want, or will get out of something that they donβt want to do, by conveniently forgetting or not doing the work the way that they should.
As you can see, manipulators are going to come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. It is hard to know for sure whether you are dealing with a manipulator or not because they often can use many faces, and often, you are pretty close to them from the start. A manipulator isnβt going to be someone who just randomly comes into your life one day. You already know that these brand new people need to build up your trust, and that can take some time. For the most part, when you are being manipulated, it is going to be by the people who are close to you, a friend, family, or even a coworker.
Learning the signs of manipulation, and asking yourself the right questions to see whether manipulation may be going on, can be the first steps to take to help protect yourself. If you know what is going on and can speak out about it from the beginning, you will find that it is easier to avoid the manipulator. Manipulators want to get what matters to them. If the other person is putting up a big fight or has caught on to what the manipulator is doing, then the manipulator is going to find someone else.
I hope you enjoy the content in this website, if so, please share this with your friends and families to make them learn more about what is manipulation.
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