Interesting Psychology Team
6 – Practice Makes Perfect
Once you get better at being assertive, you’ll want to start asking for what you want, more often. When someone says something you don’t agree with, or forces you to do something you don’t want to do, that’s your cue to voicing your concerns. And it’s important to maintain your new assertive attitude for at least two months- since it takes about that long to make a new habit stick.
7 – Be Deliberate
Have you ever had to deal with a messy person – whether that be your old college roommate or a sloppy sibling? No matter who it is, sharing a space with someone like that can be exhausting – and gross. If you’ve never really been assertive, you might remember how you got increasingly annoyed while trying to keep quiet at the same time.
Perhaps you might have even been passive-aggressive – by either cleaning up after this person with bitterness or making slight jabs at them here and there. To take care of a problem like this, it might do you wonders to be deliberate instead.
That means you should directly tell the person how you are feeling in a polite manner. The more straightforward you can be, the better the person will understand the trouble they’ve been causing you – and the more willing they’ll be to make changes.
8 – Stand Up For Your Time
Of all the resources in the world, time is perhaps the most valuable. But, it’s all too easy to sacrifice it whenever you feel too scared to say no. Of course, you can’t avoid giving up time in every situation.
If you’ve got an important assignment due on a specific date, you should probably get that done. Beyond all necessary obligations, though, you should have total control over how you spend your days.
Don’t let anyone else dictate how you should live your life. If you ever need to modify your schedule or avoid certain situations, you should stand up for your time.
9 – You Don’t Have To Apologize
When you stand up for yourself, you might feel an innate pressure to apologize – as if you are overstepping a boundary. But you should know that you are never doing the wrong thing when prioritizing your happiness and well-being.
Instead of pulling an excuse out of your pocket, you can empower your assertions with a short”yes” or “no.”Sometimes, a simple answer is all that’s needed. If you feel like someone expects you to offer a reason, give them a few moments of silence.
It will fully convey your intention, and they’ll most likely turn the conversation in another direction or end it right there.
10 – Recognize That No One Can Invalidate You
You are in total control of how you feel and how you act. Because all of your emotions and thoughts belong to you, you shouldn’t let anyone manipulate or invalidate you.
At the same time, if you ever feel tempted to invalidate someone, be sure to take a step back and respect their point of view. That’s the only way you can have a productive discussion with someone.
The take home
Learning to stand up for yourself will take some time. Though it may be hard at first, try putting yourself in the shoes of an actor who’s learning to play a new role. Once you’re in that mindset, try to picture the most confident version of yourself and how you would confront challenging situations.
Perhaps you might go back and forth from being too indecisive to being too combative. In any situation where you try to manage your thoughts and feelings, you have to strike the right balance. With enough practice, standing up for yourself will come more naturally than you realize.
What do you think? Do you have a hard time standing up for yourself? What’s preventing you from being more assertive?
Share your thoughts and comments below.
