Interesting Psychology Team
“What happens when I’m in the middle of an anxiety attack or feeling very self-conscious in public? What tools did you use then?”
If I was ever feeling anxious or very self-conscious in public, here are some things I would do.
See Yourself Through the Eyes of Other People
Another great strategy I picked up from cognitive behavioral therapy
(CBT) is to see myself through the eyes of other people when I felt self-conscious or was having an anxiety attack. I would ask myself:
“If I saw someone else who looked nervous or self-conscious, would I judge them? Would I assume they’re weak or stupid for being nervous? Would I laugh at someone who was having an anxiety attack or stuttered during a presentation? No, I wouldn’t; so, that means others probably aren’t laughing at me.”
Stop, Breathe, and Repeat Mantra
When we get anxious, we forget to breathe, which only makes things worse. If I were ever feeling like everyone in the room was negatively judging me and I started to feel anxiety about it, I would focus on taking deep breaths and try to relax my body. Then I would stop whatever I was doing and repeat this mantra:
“What others think of me means nothing, and it’s out of my control. I am who I am, no matter what they think. Let go.”
Our brains can only focus on one thing at a time, so focusing on breathing and repeating this mantra helps take away your focus on the fearful situation.
Let Go and Accept without Fighting
I let go of trying to fight it and let it happen. I would remember no one really cares and no one is laughing at me; I was the only one who cared.
I Remembered People Can’t See How I Feel Inside
Sometimes, when we’re anxious, we assume people can feel what we’re feeling. But, in reality, people generally don’t know how you feel inside and very rarely notice if you’re anxious.
Focus on Other People
Take the focus away from yourself and try to notice what other people are doing and saying. Like I mentioned, we can only focus on one thing at a time, so focusing on others means you’re not focusing on yourself.
Keep in mind these tools are helpful, but what’s more important is to fix the causes, which are all the things we’ve discussed up until now. If you’re trying to fix the symptoms once you’re already having an anxiety attack or feeling self-conscious, it’s too late.
I feel this is where most people teaching this stuff are going wrong. They give you great advice for what to do when you’re feeling anxious but fail to properly address the causes.
