Interesting Psychology Team
How to change your thinking and Get Rid Of Depression And Anxiety
The first thing you must do is believe that you can change the way you are thinking and, through that, the way you are feeling.
You are largely in control of what you think. You alone have the power to decide what you will or will not accept and feed into your mind. You are far more in control than you probably realise, as working through the steps of this program will prove. In the meantime (if you are in doubt), what can you lose by trying something that, if it works (and it will if you want it to), can only benefit you?
The way to change your habit of thinking from negative to positive is so simple and basic that you will be amazed that you have not stayed with it long enough in the past to get results. Like most methods that prove effective, it works when it is applied consistently.
To replace negative thoughts by positive thinking you must deal with two aspects of the situation:
- Monitor your thinking
- Kill negative thoughts as they arise by replacing them by positive thoughts as quickly as you can.
The following paragraphs show you how to go about this.
Aspect 1: Monitor your thinking
Become aware of the way you react to situations, people, requests, the weather, and so on. Each time you catch yourself feeding a negative thought, pause and realise what you are doing. Take a hard look at that particular thought. Ask yourself:
Why did I think that way?
Was there a reason for thinking that way?
No!
Be very honest when you answer these questions. In most cases the answer will be ‘no’—you will not be able to find a valid reason for your negative thought because there was no factual basis for it.
Aspect 2: Kill negative thoughts quickly
Any time you catch yourself thinking negatively, firmly dismiss the negative thought and replace it quickly with a positive one. Stamp out the negative thought and replace it with a counterbalancing positive thought. In the following examples negative thoughts are presented in italics and counterbalancing thoughts are in ordinary print.
I can’t do it.
Why can’t I?
There is no factual reason why I can’t, so I will do it.
I probably won’t like it.
Why wouldn’t I like it?
How will I know I don’t like it until I try?
I’ll give it a go and see how I feel.
I don’t think they like me.
How do I know they don’t like me?
What are the factual reasons behind my feeling that they don’t
like me?
I can’t think of any factual reasons—it’s just a feeling.
I’ll start thinking they do like me until it’s proved otherwise.
I don’t think I’ll go.
I have no reason for not going.
I’d probably quite enjoy it once I got there.
My feelings are based not on fact but on vague negative fears.
I won’t continue to allow these negative feelings to set limits for me.
I am going and I will enjoy myself.
It’s not for me, I can’t be bothered.
On what am I basing that decision?
My vague feelings of no-confidence again?
It could very well be just my thing.
I am going to try it and see.
If it turns out to be boring I won’t go again.
At least I’ll have a real reason for my decision then
Taking notes!
Are you beginning to understand what this method is about? Have you noted the increase in positiveness of thought in some examples? The method involves you looking quickly at the negative thought when it arises, and deciding whether it is based on fact or on your negative feelings. If you are in the habit of thinking negatively, you will usually find that the negative thought is based on feelings not on facts. You are reacting negatively almost without being aware of doing so, because you have got into that habit.
Having decided whether your negative reaction is justified (whether it is based on fact, or on vague negative feelings or anxiety) you can then deal with it. If your reaction is not based on fact, you must replace the negativity with positive and constructive thoughts. This way you will learn to think positively.
Do this exercise many times each day, trying not to miss any opportunity to put it into practice. The more consistently you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, the quicker the results will be.
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