When to Get a Divorce? 5 Things to consider BEFORE getting a DIVORCE

When To Get A Divorce?

Five signs you need to get a divorce! if you’ve been considering divorce you may be wondering whether it’s the right decision, – it’s a big decision – a lot of people stress over it and who can blame them; it’s one of the most important changes that you can have in a chapter your life is getting married. So, of course getting divorce would hold a very similar weight in change of your life.

It’s normal to have doubts creep into your mind from time to time, but sometimes it’s necessary to take a step back and closely evaluate your situation.

How do you know you’re doing the right thing? how do you know whether to fight for your marriage or just cut your losses? well, I’m here to help you!.

Here are a few signs v in fact that may indicate it’s time to call it quits.

5- Prioritize safety

If you think your partner is scary and mean, assess whether the risk of harm is real and immediate. If it is, it’s your job to protect yourself ASAP, not first figure out why your spouse gets so angry or what you can say or do to reduce the tension. The time to analyze his or her behavior is later (if ever); getting out and staying safe is more important than staying to talk things over.

4- List the essentials of a good-enough marriage

Considering all the marriages you’ve ever observed closely, from your parents’ to your old frat brother’s with his mail-order bride, ask yourself which ones never had a chance or were unhealthy and why, e.g., one partner didn’t do her share or was too quick to anger or only spoke Ukrainian. Then, if your marriage has one or more of those toxic qualities that make it substantially worse than living single, be realistic in considering whether your partner or you could make the changes necessary. Remember to distinguish between character, which doesn’t change, and behavior, which does (occasionally) (if someone tries hard).

3- Look at your decision through a business lens

List the pros and cons of marriage and divorce, putting aside negative feelings and focusing on the line items of dissolving a partnership, i.e., figuring out how to survive the splitting of assets and responsibilities and the increase in personal expenses. Compare security, income, savings, lifestyle, and parenting, as well as what you may have to sacrifice by going solo or single income, such as your nice house or your show dog.

2- Consider the logistics of leaving before getting a divorce

You can’t give yourself a choice until you know what the choice will require and you can create and execute a realistic exit plan. If you think your partner’s idea of a fair split of possessions, custody, or child care isn’t likely to be the same as yours, then you need to know your state’s legal guidelines, the conditions that would prompt a judge to make exceptions, and the cost of legal help. Hopefully, all you’ll need is to find an affordable place to live that doesn’t screw up your commute or your kids’ school district. Never let fear prevent you from finding out what you need to do or to convince you that there’s no way to do it.

1- Explore therapy while acknowledging its limitations

Sure, a therapist can help you understand and speak more positively to each other, but when your communication Sherpa isn’t around, you’ll both usually slip when you’re under stress. Therapy may help you understand that what you don’t like about your spouse is part of the way he is, and that he would be that way with anyone, no matter how great his love and caring; but it probably can’t change him, leaving you to decide whether the marriage is worthwhile in spite of what you don’t like. Ultimately, therapy can’t change either of your personalities, but it may get you and your spouse to take your differences less personally, see what behavior needs to change, and assess whether such change (and staying together) is an actual possibility.