Interesting Psychology Team
Wherever you go, wherever you are in life, there will always be toxic people. And itβs easy to feel frustrated, especially when they take up all your emotional energy.
When you feel annoyed by the toxicity in your life, itβs tempting to blame others and ask the world, why me? But, instead of seeking pity from the cosmos, you should look into that question. Why you? How do your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors attract toxic people, and keep them around?
The types of people you attract have a lot to do with who you are. Thatβs not to say that youβre doing something wrong, but you may want to examine what itis about you that is so alluring to toxic personalities. If you sometimes feel like a magnet for toxicity, here are seven reasons why you might be, and how to turn things around:
1 – Youβre Really Easygoing
Being easygoing is a great trait, and it attracts people whether theyβre toxic or not. An easygoing person has a knack for putting others at ease in uncomfortable situations and keeping calm under pressure.
If that sounds like you, others might describe you as a patient, kind, or peacekeeper. Although your relaxed personality is not a fault, your mellow nature makes you a target for toxic people. They interpret your carefree attitude as a weakness and assume that youβre easy to control.
Once theyβve set their sights on you, you might fall prey to their manipulation tactics and wind up doing things youβd rather not do. To prevent this, cultivate an awareness of other peopleβs intentions and avoid the tendency to commit to requests automatically.
2 – You Listen To And Understand Others
Most people work toward becoming better listeners, but good listeners often attract troubled people. You might find yourself stuck in a one-sided conversation as someone keeps emotionally dumping on you with complete disregard for your time.
If youβre an empathetic listener, a toxic person wonβt hesitate to share their negative energy with you. They might talk for hours and not once ask for your input. Thankfully, you can do things to avoid being the victim of a conversational bully or narcissistic personality.
For instance, if you know what youβre getting into, decide how much time you want to spend with that person before you see them. Prepare an exit strategy (such as other plans), and when the time comes, use it with confidence.
3 – You Are A Problem Solver
Some people are fixers. They solve problems, repair broken things, and even try to fix people. Although this can be positive and even altruistic, it makes you a target for toxic people. If youβre an emotional healer, youβre compassionate, and you try to help others without asking for anything in return.
Toxic individuals see this as an opportunity. And if you have a hard time leaving things be, you might be crossing boundaries and wreaking havoc in your relationships. The solution is to let things go. Not everything that seems broken needs fixing. And some things just canβt be fixed. When you accept this, it becomes easier to protect yourself.
